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HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT

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This advice is aimed primarily at resolving differences between individuals, small groups and organisations, but many of the same principles apply to the resolution of conflict between communities and even nations. This advice is aimed primarily at resolving differences between individuals, small groups and organisations, but many of the same principles apply to the resolution of conflict between communities and even nations.

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Be calm Conflict usuually engenders strong emotions and even anger but, in such a state, you are unlikely to be particularly rational or in the mood for compromise

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Always show respect "I defeated my opponents without dishonouring them". Nelson Mandela "Long Walk To Freedom"

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Be magnanimous This will save you time and energy and you can concentrate on the important issues of difference rather than the smaller ones.

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Discuss or debate We avoid discussion or debate either because we fear conflict (the situation will rarely be as bad as you fear) or we worry about 'losing' (in which case, you've already 'lost').

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Apply rationality Try to clear through the perception to discover and agree on how things really are.

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Acknowledge emotions Make an effort to see the situation the way the other person does and to acknowledge their emotions before endeavouring to move beyond them.

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Be aware of displacement It's not easy to spot displacement, but a warning sign is when matters that do not normally cause conflict now appear to do so.

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Be precise Instead of throwing everything into doubt and caused unnecessary upset, be focused.

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Think creatively Try presenting different types of solution from those so far rejected by one of the parties.

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Change the wording It's amazing how often we disagree about words and how a change of words can change how people view a situation.

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Change the environment Many of the most productive negotiations between management and union took place in a neutral venue like a hotel. Sometimes even simply moving from an office to a coffee bar or from a house to a restaurant can make all the difference.

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Compromise Try both options

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Seek mediation This is a process whereby a neutral third party consults with those involved in a conflict to see if the problem can be presented in a way which facilitates a resolution.

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Seek conciliation This is a similar process to mediation but a little more activist on the part of the third party who will normally attempt to find a solution by proposing a 'third way'.

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Accept the situation "The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown." Swiss psychologist Carl Jung

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conflict cannot always be avoided The important thing is to keep wasteful and damaging conflict to a minimum and, when it does occur, use the relevant techniques to resolve or at least ease it.